I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
