just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
