is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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