you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
