official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
