Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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