There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
