you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
