Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she looked like the before picture.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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