you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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