For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
