I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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