Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
we should paint friendship bongs
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