I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize