so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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