Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just high enough for therapy.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
