mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize