Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
