a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize