Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
