i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
