Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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