So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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