Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize