just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
