Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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