He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
