i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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