sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm too high and old for this...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!