i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets