somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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