When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
