whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
