I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's never too late to be topless.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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