dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
