i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
