Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
