its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
