ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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