if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
