All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
