Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
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