A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
