How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
