Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
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