You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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