so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
