She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
