I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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