you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize