Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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