You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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