You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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