remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
