he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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