I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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