I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
