Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
