After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
