Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
