The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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