I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
