please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize