I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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