Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
