I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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