dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
